Being new in sobriety I am finding that I have changed quite a few things, especially when it comes down to my daily routine. I go to an early meeting and sometimes I go to a lunch meeting. If I miss a lunch meeting, I will often go to a night meeting. I try to do at least one meeting a day, two often and three when I find my head spinning.
New Things, Places, People
I enjoy the meetings, the morning meeting sets my head right for the day. I am limiting time with my old “friends” to little or nil at this point. MOST of them do not know I am going to AA. It is not uncommon for me to not see many of them for periods of time, I am specifically avoiding social drinking situations until I feel a bit stronger. I even go to coffee and sandwich shops for lunch instead of the pubs I used to frequent.
I Know How I Am (in some ways)
I know that I cannot avoid things forever. I know that I need to integrate back into some of my old life (sans alcohol) or I will self destruct. I will feel sorry for myself and focus on the things I CANNOT do like I used to. I can stick to new rules only so long. One of the things I am avoiding is big events, concerts, places where people are partying. Especially since this is an extra long Holiday weekend, I WOULD BE PARTYING!
This morning we had our normal early meeting at the Shelter. It is generally a small-ish meeting, usually less than 10 people. But for those 10 of us, this meeting is a vital piece to our day. 4 additional people, people from out of town joined us. They introduced themselves just like we did, they participated just like we did. As we did our “round robin” throughout the room, they shared individually before it was my turn. Because of what they had said (and not said), it was clear to me that these folks came to town from about 500 miles away to go to a big outdoor concert we are having TONIGHT! A concert I wasn’t ready to go to. When it came around to my turn to share, I thanked them for coming to our town and I wanted them to know how much AT THAT VERY MOMENT I appreciated knowing that I will get to a place that I will once again feel strong enough to go to events like that SOBER.
What I don’t need in my life is alcohol. What I don’t need in my life is rebellion against what I think is a sacrifice to not go to things because I feel punished. I know that if this is where my head is at, I will rebel and I will drink. After the meeting, 3 of these folks came up to me and said, “You can do whatever you want, just go with a support system of sober people. You will find them.” They each hugged me and I felt a little peace and hope.
Life DOES Go On
Having complete strangers share their thoughts and hugs with me, once again made me feel so blessed. I am not alone in this battle and neither are they. We can count on each other wherever we find a meeting. We have ONE goal, no matter where that is to NOT DRINK. Since we are all anonymous I can reach out in thought and to my Higher Power and thank Him for putting them in my life today.