Today was the 4th of July. The birth of our nation, free and strong. Yet I dreaded it. For this “party girl” the first thing I did when I got up was to pray for strength and for sobriety today. I got dressed and went to my normal AA meeting at 7:30am and was thankful that these meetings still go on, even and especially on Holidays.
“Be the Author of Your Own Story”
During the summer we have lots of visitors. Vacationers from all over come through our area and I am finding that many of them look up AA Meetings to attend. I enjoy meeting these new people with fresh perspective. This morning we had a visitor that was also was with us yesterday but didn’t say anything. Today, he shared with us that he was here on holiday and also lots of other feelings that I found myself shaking my head in agreement as he spoke. He said something that I am still thinking of now, twelve hours later. It may be an AA saying- I don’t know, but he said it so for now he gets the credit.
“I was sick and tired of alcohol writing my story, it was deciding what I did, how I did it and how I felt about what I did. I wanted to be the author of my own story. I had to take the reigns from alcohol and put it out of my life in order to do it.”
Simple is Best
How come that simple things are the things that stick in my head? I have a tendency to over think everything. But his sharing his thoughts were so “on point.” And there was nothing to over think- it was right there in front of me.
I never thought about it before I stopped drinking, but I had become so dependent on alcohol, it owned me. Like our guest, alcohol was writing my story and you can probably see if you read this blog at all, I am perfectly capable of writing whatever I want myself. For years, I just chose not to do it, I let the bottle do the writing, I let the bottle do my living.
Living in the Moment
Today I didn’t drink. Probably the first Fourth of July since I was 18 years old! Sure I missed going to a party but instead I weeded my garden, did some planting and could look at what I had accomplished because I didn’t go to a party and drink. I am tired from the heat and instead of feeling cheated I feel happy and relieved that I made it through this holiday – chem-free! Tonight I will pray again and thank my creator for this day.
What do you do to keep from misbehaving on holidays that could throw you into a tailspin?