One word. D.R.I.N.K.!! I am still human and there were things (many things) I wanted to do but couldn’t for one reason or another. But I didn’t drink and I made it to a meeting every day that I was gone. I guess the rest of the things I had planned aren’t as important as those two so all in all it was a SUCCESS!
Are you anything like me? Have a long list of things to do and even when you get most of this stuff done you still feel like you failed? I think as I work through the steps I am going to find that there is something to this “let down” “I failed” feeling I get when this happens-which is almost every day it seems. I need to manage and prioritize. As I drove home, I got to thinking…really the most the VERY MOST important thing to me is NOT DRINKING. It feels like going to meetings helps me do that. The fact that I did both of these while on vacation is not just a “thing on the list” of “things to do.” I am learning that if I don’t do these the list doesn’t matter at all, I will drink and the list disappears from my brain until I see it the next morning.
I took the mat, I took the book just like I mentioned in my last post before I left. I did read some of the book but things got upside down. So I didn’t take time to focus on meditation. One of the ladies that joined us was having breathing problems (very humid weather last week and no A/C – it’s a CAMP we stayed at.) And two other ladies had to leave early because later in the week the old dog they brought with them was having problems and had to be taken to the vet.
Back to Town
Rather than being alone and risking my vulnerable state of disappointment, I decided to come back to town. Thursday night a new friend of mine celebrated 33 years of sobriety. I hadn’t planned on going because I was to be out of town. Maybe this was a sign I thought? I went to her celebration. It was great and I was happy to be there. Then Friday was my 30 day chip day. I was able to collect my chip with my home group rather than to wait until today when I had originally thought I would return.
I learned on my vacation that there are meetings in so many places and even though they can be a little hard to find, once you do, there is a whole new batch of smiling faces happy to meet you and see you.
Back to the “Real World”
One Day At A Time.