If You Think You are a Lonely Drunk, Try Being SOBER!

So yesterday was the pits. If you read my post you will see it all over the screen.  I guess the worst part about it is, I cannot put my finger on why I felt so helpless.  But I made some calls and not to my sponsor.

The Little Things

When I was drinking, the feelings I felt yesterday would certainly have prompted me to “have a drink and forget about it.”  I didn’t drink.  That is a WIN.  I am happy about that.  There was a person that reached out to me from AA with lots of sobriety under their belt.  Someone that when we first met, we connected.  I looked forward to the times I would see him at meetings and even go to a meeting if I thought he would be there.  He isn’t the whiney type, he is supportive but he also seems to have a 6th sense about him, perceptive and experienced in dealing with feelings that newcomers have trouble sorting out.  He sent me a note to check up on me because he had a feeling…

Isolationism

I’m not drinking anymore, so I am not isolating anymore, right? One of the things I have mentioned to people that my most challenging hurdle today is the isolation of the newly sobering individual that has a bunch of partying friends that are dangerous to the goal.  MY goal of not drinking.  It is not their problem, it is mine.  Hanging out with these old friends are a no-fly zone for me and an hour of daily “fellowship” at an AA Meeting isn’t “cuttin’ it”  for the person like me that is very people centric.  I work virtually much of the time, so my computer, my dogs and the UPS guy may be “it” for me other than my hour of AA in the morning.  So I am realizing that I am lonely.  As lonely, (if not worse), as I was when I was drinking.  The difference here is, I am not wondering where I have hidden the bottles or needing to go to the store to “restock.”  I also am not going out for lunch or after work and yucking it up with my friends over a few beers.

Yes, Yes I Know

Thank you to my friends that have supported me on the phone or with a hug.  Thank you to the emails that I have received.  As weird as it may sound, even though the emails are from COMPLETE STRANGERS, your battle is the same as mine and I appreciate your encouragement without expectation of anything in return.  It is a miracle.  Yes I believe the Higher Power is working for all of us and I sure am asking for help.  It is today and only today.  I can get through it.  We can get through it (she says with a humble smile.)

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