I am a naturally inquisitive person. Always have been. This questioning quality of mine has made me amusing and annoying to the people that are around me. It depends upon your point of view as to which one I am.
You have heard it a thousand times. A child (perhaps your own) is asking “Why?” after each answer some poor soul is giving the child, the little voice says, “But why?” Sooner or later the answer comes back, “Why not?” And really, why not? I have found myself asking a lot more questions about a lot more things lately. I think it is because I have been sprinting my way through life, most of the time I am asking why after the fact. I am just noticing that recently I am asking that question before more often. Like before I am in a tailspin, before it is too late, before I had no idea I was in trouble.
Pull the Trigger
I am a gun owner, I am an accomplished trap shooter and bird hunter (though in the past 5 years or so I have not been shooting much – can you guess why?) Pulling the trigger to me means smashing something or killing it. Well, so what is the difference with alcohol? Pulling the trigger means I get smashed and eventually I would end up dead. So really when I pull the trigger with lead or alcohol the result is the same. As previous blog posts have indicated I have had a rough week and it is ONLY THURSDAY!!!
Setting It Up
Today, I could not attend my morning AA meeting. I cannot tomorrow either. That first meeting, first part of the day, sets me up for a position of strength. But I had a business meeting and then a client appointment. So no AA meeting. As I was leaving to go see my client, I got a text saying the appointment would need rescheduling. 2 months ago, this would mean a trip to my local watering hole and though it was early, I would have no problem throwing a couple down because today was starting off much like the disappointing days of the rest of the week. I then got another text from a friend that suggested I do a lunch meeting with him. I was at a stop light and knew I couldn’t text back, I was stopped next to a nail salon. I swung around the back of the salon, parked my car and walked in and asked if I could have a pedicure. Within :45 minutes I had my toes done, my feet massaged and I was less than a mile from the lunch meeting and could get there on time? C’mon if this isn’t the Higher Power working for me, I don’t know what is!
“Letting Go of Old Ideas”
On top of it all, this lunch time meeting was a “Living Sober” reading and discussion. It was about “Letting Go of Old Ideas.” JUST what I needed to hear and read. So OKAY Higher Power, I am listening…and I may not know what it means yet but, Thank You! ( And my toes look great!!)