Log Jam

After my fourth AA Meeting and my second day without any new alcohol in my system,  I asked my business partners out to lunch to tell them of my plans to stop drinking.  My plans to go to AA.  Here is the post from that situation.

“It’s the Economy, Stupid!”

Said Bill Clinton.  Said many businesses including mine as the economy flushed one customer after another down the toilet. Bankruptcy notices and balances left unpaid really effected our business.  Really brought me to my old friend, “Vitamin V” to make my pains and anxiety duller.  It quenched the thirst of that devil on my shoulder that kept telling me that just a couple drinks would make everything better.  That I would be able to get to sleep, be able to rally and produce when I needed to.  It was the economy.

It Was Alcoholism

True, the economy effected our business and fueled that devil.  But that devil was alcoholism and it was all mine.  And still the economy sucks, the ‘friggen” government is in “shutdown” and I am close to 120 days without a drink, that is all mine too.

Four Months

As I said earlier in this post, two days into my sobriety effort we had a partners meeting.  Again the post from earlier is here.  That was the last meeting that we had together.  Lunch at an “all you can eat” chinese buffet.  We have weekly staff meetings but no meetings of leadership.  WTF?  I say.

Lots of Things to Think About

I sat down and HAND WROTE each of my partners a letter today, 12 pages.  I drove to where each of them was and hand delivered it to them in an envelope.  Hopefully they read it.  It isn’t my way of making excuses or making amends.  It is the recognition of the situation our company is in and what I think we need to do to “right the ship” if we want to. But it is a “we” thing. Now that the fog has cleared there is so much that is obvious to me and it begins by talking.

Now if we only want it bad enough to do it.

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4 thoughts on “Log Jam

  1. SO VERY TRUE….”HOW BAD DO YOU WANT IT? How bad do want to be Clean, Sober, and away from the BET? Well, when the Cocktails & Addicted Gambling had me on my knee’s begging to DIE, even after 2 failed attempts, My HP grab me by the Hospital Gown…..whispered in my ear,…..”Catherine” this was not my Purpose for you or your Life. You were born for much bigger things than this!! “GET your Shit together, look outside yourself to the bigger *MIRACLE* I’m about to give……YOUR LIFE BACK to help others in Recovery!

    That was the beginning of my Long-Term Recovery. I AM a walking MIRACLE of my HP…..and I TRULY did it ODAAT. So GO AHEAD….Take your LIFE back, I’m HERE anytime you need Support!! kitcatlyon@yahoo.com 🙂

    Much LUV & Blessings my friend, *Catherine* 🙂 🙂

  2. Pingback: Connecting the Dots | iwanttotakemylifeback

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