Nearly 200 days ago I stopped drinking. And “One Day At A Time” I pray that I will make the 200 and go on for many more days. But there it is, one day at a time, many downs and many ups. When I received the coin, “Nothing Changes, if Nothing Changes,” I had no idea what that meant. I have a little bit of an idea that “Everything Changes if Everything Changes.” It all needed to. Some days it is exciting, some days, it is overwhelming.
Happy New Year !
It is only natural that the onset of a New Year creates the thought of a new beginning and a closing of a door on the past. This year as I work the steps it seems even more important to reflect, learn, act. As an alcoholic, I suffer from acting impetuously or procrastinating. There never seems to be anything in my life that is middle of the road. When I was drinking, I would always say, “I don’t know a gray area, I only know black or white.” This continues to be true.
Singleness of Purpose
I have talked about this several times and on some days especially early on, just not picking up a drink was all I could muster. Between that and “Keep Coming Back” were the most helpful things for me. I still try my hardest to keep those things first and foremost in my mind. I started this blog to help me sort things out in my head. And blogging is a format I understand and have enjoyed the feedback from others that are also in recovery. Feedback was an added benefit that I had no concept of originally. I also think that because of my alcoholism I had to stop and realize what was happening with me. What made me tick. Drinking was the elixir that squelched many, many things I was unable to face in life. At the same time it numbed my creativity, my writing and God only knows what else.
Now it is time to move on. As I have worked the steps, I also have looked at goals in my life. What do I really want to be when I grow up? I have always said I wanted to write. I feel comfortable in it. This blog, along with many other writing “assignments” are part of my exercise for writing. The process of recovery will still happen but now it is time to put some goals to this blog that will allow me to grow more. When I started, it was just to dump my brains out so I could maintain the ultimate goal of not drinking. That could be daily, weekly or whatever. Now I want to bring some order and discipline to my blogging. I see it with Catherine (who’s blog I read religiously – Addicted to Dimes), I see how her writing has really progressed and her inspiration to others is so giving. So for now, I will see you once a week (at least), right here. Talking about my recovery and referring to other blogs and back to other posts. It is still “One Day at a Time.”