UGH! I feel like I am stuck in neutral and maybe even going backwards. No I am not drinking but I know feeling like this could be dangerous. This is my first time around so I am not exactly sure what could make me drink. I have been to tons of meetings. Like more than 120 in 90 days and almost every day I go to one meeting or even two. Sometimes I go to two because I feel like I would like another – my first meeting of the day almost always is at 7:30am. So if I am weary at the end of the day and I feel like it would be a day I would have come home and said, “Boy do I ever need a drink!” I go to a meeting instead.
Routines make me happy. Routines make me cranky when something happens and I miss my “usual” day because of “this thing or that thing” Recently my sponsor suggested that I change up my meeting schedule, try something new, try somewhere new, meet some new people. She is totally right. Changing up my “people, places and things” seems to spruce up my recovery thinking. JUST a little. I wish I would feel more excited but I don’t.
Just like many in this country we have had odd weather. We have had incredible cold, lots of snow, an ice storm and now we are having another ice storm, rain and a deep freeze. The temperature has dropped 10 degrees in about an hour. I have been stuck at home today. Too icy to get out for my early meeting (or any meeting for that matter ) and it isn’t looking good for tomorrow. I don’t feel like calling my sponsor again or anyone else, so I am hoping you guys don’t mind listening. I did do an AA online meeting that was okay, better than nothing and I am glad it was there. AND I am glad we have electricity, who knows for how long?
So what does everyone else do when they feel like they got the blahs? I am playing the gratitude card right now. Grateful for power and heat. Grateful that I am safe and dry. Grateful that I didn’t have a drink today. I don’t know, phew. Thanks for listening/reading.