It may not have been that long but I cannot help feeling that some things are happening that I never would have guessed. It has kind have been a situation of getting a freight train going, though sometimes I do stop and roll backward. For now, I am just putting it with something my Higher Power has in mind for me and even though I am trying to push it into place faster, I guess I am just not ready for too much of the “right” things to happen, yet.
Gotta wonder if this is number is symbolic in some way? Today, I have 212 days and until I looked it up on the app on my phone, I honestly didn’t know it was exactly this day. 212 degrees Fahrenheit is the boiling point of water. That was where everything was in my life before I got sober. Always at a boiling point just ready to overflow. Often like a boiling pot, it overflowed and even if I cleaned up the mess there was still plenty of hot mess on the burner left behind. (*smell*) So here I am taking in all what the Higher Power will let me have and like everything I don’t seem to have the patience to wait and I want more.
There have been tons of changes since last summer. My life is much more peaceful than it was. Work still sucks. The situation with my partners hasn’t gotten any worse but it still is broken. I am not taking it so personally nor am I blaming myself because I didn’t follow through because I was too drunk to notice. BUT status quo may not be a bad thing. I still get a paycheck while I am healing. I can work a flexible schedule and get a meeting in without having to “ask the boss.” I can meditate as part of my daily schedule. Meanwhile I do work and I am cultivating a new venture that is helpful to my business and doesn’t hurt it. But I still live in the same house, my dogs are healthy, my life is ok. As I list this out, I feel like God is watching over me, while I get my act together.
Because of this new adventure I have met some new people, got re involved with some old relationships, feeling energized. I am sitting quietly once in a while and rather than becoming impatient, I am letting my Higher Power show me what he has in store and I think it is going to be exciting! In His time, not my will be done.