I have completely left this blog behind in my recovery journey. I am not sure why, I think it is very possible that my poor self-image and “Good things don’t happen to me,” attitude, is shining through.
There is Good News…I am sober, still sober, since June 20, 2013.
It has been so long since I wrote in this blog I actually forgot how to log in. Here are some bullet points on what has happened since my last post- September 14, 2014.
- My Dad did die – on November 2, 2014. (That’s a year ago today.)
- My Stepmother “Broom Linda” and I didn’t kill one another either.
- I didn’t drink, I hardly thought about it, even tho I was around most of the reasons that created the feelings inside me that I poured alcohol over in the first place.
Yesterday, I got a text message from a friend that asked me to speak at a Speaker Meeting. I didn’t want to, honestly. This time last year I was traveling back and forth- to see my Dad and last night was the night I would have been sitting with him holding his hand. I knew I needed a meeting, but I just wanted to sit in that meeting (that has been asking for support) and be there. This man that asked, means a lot to me and there was no way I could say no.
Back to Basics…Again
I didn’t really want to go to this Speaker Meeting and stand at the podium and blubber and not be able to say anything helpful to anyone or myself. So I pulled up this old friend of mine, my blog. This blog. Went back to an old posting around a year of sobriety and started from there.
I created a little speech that I will post in the next post later on today. I knew I needed something written down to keep myself on track. I am not particularly fearful of Public Speaking, (almost everything else, but not that.)
Turns out, it was quite cathartic. My Higher Power knew that it would be, ofcourse I seem to be SHOWN to BELIEVE. I am not sure what was more helpful the writing down my feelings or being at the head of the room telling people how I was getting through some of the hardest times of my life WITHOUT drinking and WITH the program.