Today in Maine we are having a snowstorm. One of those all day specials. Started around 6 this morning and still going strong. Our office is closed but as a “Distributed Workforce” we can work remotely as a normal way of doing business. This was one of the reasons, I was able to isolate and drink privately. As long as I could type and respond when needed, no one suspected that I had a “problem.”
Snow Days were Snow DAZE
When the weather is frightful the bottle is so delightful! On these stormy days, most of our business conversations online with each other were about the travel, school closing early or being canceled. I could hold it together for that and meanwhile “pace myself” alone at my desk and my computer screen. There is something cozy about being nestled in to my home office, garage door closed. Knowing I had stocked up.
Today is a Different Snow Day
Last night a friend of mine in the program sent me a text saying “There is no reason for you to drive tomorrow, let me pick you up for the morning meeting.” WOW that was a gift. Our morning meetings as I have mentioned previously in this blog, are at a Homeless Shelter in our city. We never cancel. There is so much early recovery happening, we knock ourselves out to make sure the meeting is opened. So often it is the only meeting people get to – they LIVE there. The homeless shelter never closes.
At 6:55am the lights of my friend’s big 4 x 4 truck come up my driveway and off we go. And at 7:30 the meeting goes on as scheduled. Someone living at the shelter had made the coffee for us and others helped set up the room. As the meeting unfolded in the usual “round robin” discussion format, one in the group said, “WOW, wouldn’t this be a great day to sit home and drink!” It was true. In another life, that would be what I was doing and about this time of the morning, I would be battling off the shakes with a little vodka latte.
Today, I have worked steadily most of the day with a break for a romp in the snow with my dogs. The snow is still coming down steady, we should be at about a foot before it is done. And here I am comfortable in my skin not struggling with hiding ANYTHING. Freedom.
Thank you Higher Power and my friends in AA that helped me stay sober today.