Monkey on my Back
When I first got into recovery, I remember feeling so many negative emotions. Most of them around all the secrets I had been harboring. Afraid at getting caught, wondering how much I was remembering about any given day or event. I really felt like there was a huge weight on my shoulders. And not “medicating” these feelings, was rough.
As the Fog Lifted
After a few days and many meetings, I learned that many people felt like I did in the early days, but as I looked across the room at happy people that truly loved each other and cared earnestly, I began to think there was hope for me. And there was. And today when I choose again not to drink, there still is hope. LOTS!
Short but Sweet
Today I am sitting in a library working. May sound simple, but in this particular town, I have drank much and drank often. Many days in a row. It was where I “cut my teeth” on partying. So sitting here at 9:30am without a Bloody Mary or my patent “Beers for breakfast” Rolling Rock is pretty monumental. I have no regrets today and I don’t feel haunted. I am tying up some loose ends and being productive.
I wanted to mention this in a quick post. If you are struggling, get to a meeting. “They” mean what they say that it gets better. I am noticing it and feeling it now- today.
Tonight when my travel day is through, I plan to make it to a meeting.