About Relapse and Coming Back…
The first meeting of the day in Bangor, Maine is at 7:30am at the Homeless Shelter. The name of the shelter is The Hope House. Monday thru Friday is a Grapevine Format. There is an article from The Grapevine read – paragraph by paragraph, round robin style until the reading is finished. Sharing begins on the reading or thoughts to “Staying away from a drink for today” are the focus.
So Many Points of View
Sitting in a meeting (any meeting), reminds me that my way of thinking is not the RIGHT way or the ONLY way. It is A WAY. As people share around the room, topics that come up from an article that we all just read TOGETHER, that are helpful to me understanding the struggle that is so real in each of us. Even when we see things from a different point of view.
When alcoholics go back out, it is dangerous. When we drink, we make bad choices, we are not in control of anything. That means ANYTHING can happen and it usually does. Most of which we may not remember. Every time we go back out, our disease has been “doing push ups” getting stronger, waiting for us. Our relapse periods vary and our trip back to the rooms of Recovery are at risk. We can die. In my opinion, something worse is to kill someone else and live through the tragedy. This isn’t Meeting drama speak, this is reality.
“Keep Coming Back”
Is an expression used in the Rooms of Recovery. Today, I learned that people view that expression from a variety of angles. To me, it means to “Keep Coming Back” to meetings because I am worth Recovery. When the days feel really dark and I am struggling, I need to keep coming to meetings, get out of my head. My Higher Power has something in mind for me.
Others shared that no matter how many times a person relapses, they are welcomed back to AA. And in another breath someone said that she felt that gave her permission to give up and give in the the disease. Go back out because she could come back again.
Whatever “Keep Coming Back” means in your Recovery, I pray that when someone decides to just throw in the towel it isn’t a casual mood decision. “Things suck so I will drink.” Call someone first. Take a walk. GET TO A MEETING. Giving up on yourself is a very dangerous place to be, not a passing fancy. When we stumble, we don’t have to fall and roll around in the $hit of our past decisions. We are worth living without putting ourselves (as well as others), thru holy hell.
“Think Before You Drink”
And if you don’t, please come back to AA. “It takes what it takes.”