One of my favorite quotes from someone in a meeting was, “When I come to this particular meeting, I feel like I am having a head on collision with Gratitude.” This is pretty obvious to anyone that starts their day off with a meeting at a Homeless Shelter, which is what I do most days.
Fresh from jail, thrown out of the house or inside from living in the woods, these folks are at our AA Meetings at 7:30 am. Most of the time, the environment is pretty stable but there are some days when someone has a seizure, sounds of people vomiting, belching, etc. Our Grapevine meetings go on.
I get to leave the Shelter after the meeting. Many others do too. Some leaving at the end of the meeting are those that lived there once, but “Graduated.” Have jobs, a place to live and lives all because of Recovery.
We Will Love You Until You Love Yourself
Like most of us, Recovery is my journey. For me too, the road has been rocky and smooth. Right now I am in a rocky spot. I go to meetings to sit and allow myself to heal through the emotions I am not accustomed to feeling. To do things differently than what I have done for years while I was drinking. To let the chaos pass and not participate in it- it is hard. My friends in meetings provide me “Experience, Strength and Hope” while I sort things out. I think the last time I felt this confused and upside down things were A LOT worse. I chose drinking as my solution, drinking was the only one I knew. It propelled my alcoholism into a 10 year spiral and I felt like I had no way out, except to “end it.” Everyone would be so much better off without me.
Escape to Recovery
Yes, I will admit it. I am going to many more meetings than I usually do. In the old days I would go to a Bar, grab a stool, order a “Vodka and diet” (no carbs!) and escape from my feelings. Now I go to a SAFE place, a meeting TO LIVE through my emotions and when it comes time to deal with the situations and the feelings they cause, I remind myself I am safe and I don’t have to drink.